Friday, November 5, 2010

Strewth - REDgroup is in the red


The chief executive of REDgroup Retail, owners of variety store chains Whitcoulls in NZ, Angus and Robertson in Australia and bookstore chain Borders in both countries, has resigned, capping a "turbulent" few months for the retailer.

Dave Fenlon will leave Redgroup "swiftly" for "personal reasons", a Sydney-based spokeswoman for the company said.

Recently appointed chairman Steven Cain (no relation to transpress's editor) will take over.

In July, Redgroup, which employs more than 1,000 people in New Zealand, warned it was likely to breach its banking covenants. After talks with its financiers it gained a waiver for the breaches but lost chairman Rod Walker and the company's former chief executive during Redgroup's purchase of Borders, who stepped down.

At the time it said that "like many retailers the company has experienced a tough trading environment", and went on to post a full-year loss of A/US $43 million.

Redgroup is owned by private equity investor Pacific Equity Partners, which has a portfolio that includes the Hoyts cinemas, Veda Advantage, Tegel and Griffin's food brands.

It's tempting to write a pastiche of this company which could start like this...


RED Chief Executive: "G'day mate. Sheesh, ya don't look too good"
RED Book Manager: "Nah, I knocked back a few too many bundies at the footie social."
RED Chairman: "You're not goin' to do a technicolour yawn are ya?"
Book Manager: "Nah, she'll be right"
Chief Executive: "Anyway, how are book sales?
Book Manager: "Hopeless, mate"
Chairman: "Do we actually stock any now?"
Book Manager: "Oh, well, yeah, a few blockbusters from America and England, that's about it."
Chief Executive: "What about books from local publishers?"
Book Manager: "Nah, jeez mate, they send me submissions all the time. They must have kangaroos in the top paddock, thinking people are interested in reading books in this country."
Chairman: "What about New Zealand?"
Chief Executive: "The sheep rooters - gawd!"
Chairman: "The MD of Hachette Livre in Kiwiland was telling me that they haven't had an order for Whitcoulls for over three months."
Book Manager: "Hachette Livre? That froggie outfit? Strewth, mate, people here can hardly read English, let alone French."
Chairman: "Like you?"
Book Manager: "Hah, funny, mate. The problem is all these wogs flooding the place, why doesn't the government just boot the lot out, send them to Afgahnistan or somewhere?"
Chairman: "I'm with you on that one."
Chief Executive: "But, really, we must do something with books, shouldn't we? I've heard that Paper Plus in Kiwiland are looking at boosting books to compensate for our lack."
Book Manager: "Why not let them? I really think we're wasting time with books."

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